Sunday, October 30, 2011

My Friend

My apologies to my hordes of dedicated readers; we've been quite busy the last few weeks. In this post I'll try to catch you up on the recent goings-on in the Moderate household.

In early October C and I flew to San Francisco for the wedding of my childhood best friend, B. While we were there, we got to spend a day visiting with three of our good friends--one lives in Oakland and the other two live in Sacramento. It was a fun reunion made even cooler by the fact that the two in Sacramento recently got engaged. Looks like we'll be buying another set of plane tickets to California next summer! :-)

It was great to hang out with the three of them and get a personal tour of San Francisco from some locals (neither C nor I had ever been there before). We got to visit the Presidio and the Golden Gate Bridge, listen to a band perform "the Stars and Stripes Forever" in Golden Gate Park, visit Harvey Milk's camera shop in the Castro District, and have dinner at Fisherman's Wharf. We had a fantastic time, but it was far too brief a visit. We're looking forward to spending more time with those guys next summer.

The following weekend we took bereavement leave from our respective jobs and flew to Texas for my grandfather's funeral. Opa had been in declining health for a few years and had a stroke and a seizure right before our trip to California. After a week of unconsciousness being unable to eat or drink, he passed away on the Wednesday following our return from California. We immediately hopped on a plane to Austin to join my family for the funeral that Friday.

It was a confusing funeral. We are loved and welcome by my extended family (my grandmother, for instance, is a huge fan of C, and my aunts are just delighted to have a gay couple in the family) but most interactions with my nuclear family are a complicated mix of good intentions, heavy religious overtones, and confusing and often offensive comments. This trip was unfortunately not an exception.

On Friday, my mother introduced C to a person at the funeral as "Joe's friend"; we both noticed it but didn't think much of it at the time. But Saturday she repeated it, this time to the whole extended family, while she was serving us food. She said she had learned about one of C's food preferences through "his friend Joe". There was a moment of confusion as people around the table grappled with what just happened. Hmm :-/

I've wondered what Mom means when she refers to C and I as "friends." It sounds like she has returned to the denial stage of grieving my orientation, which is a huge regression. I had thought/hoped she was further along, but it looks like we have a ways to go yet with Mom.

In the meantime, we've finally finished moving in to our apartment in Lowell! Last weekend we finally moved the remaining boxes (grad school books, hiking gear, and the Christmas tree) into a storage closet, and finished arranging the study. This place really feels like home now. It's such a warm, comfortable place to come home to at the end of a long day at work. We're enjoying sipping coffee together here in the morning and sipping red wine together here at the end of the day. :-)

This weekend we traveled to Salem to explore the town with some new friends we recently met. As this was Halloween weekend, the town was literally overrun with tourists in costumes. There were so many people in witch costumes that I was finally able to use a pun I've been storing up for years: "which witch is which?" ;-) The best costumes, however, were the three guys tricked out in full Ghostbusters gear walking around with their lady friend in a Slimer costume. We visited the Salem witch hunt history museum and also the National Maritime History Park there. Then we high-tailed it out of town in an attempt to get home before the first storm of Snowmaggedon 2011 rolled in.

We didn't quite make it; the heavy rain turned to heavy snow before we got off the interstate, and we had a few interesting slipping and sliding moments. But we got home safe and sound. This morning we peeked out the window blinds at the NINE INCHES OF SNOW that fell overnight! Fortunately most of it has melted away today.

C is in the study working hard at preparing the lecture for his class tomorrow. I'm periodically tending to the laundry and I'm about to start preparing dinner. It's a wonderful, homey afternoon in our home :-)

Herman Cain: Nachos and hogwash! I'm gonna make snacks for the Highlander marathon!

And the crowd goes wild!

This is the most hilarious, uncanny bit of lib-dubbing I have ever seen.



More here

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Waiting Like a Puppy in San Francisco

So I've been out in San Francisco for two days doing bachelor party stuff for my lifelong friend B who is getting married this weekend. C had to stay and work in Boston Thursday and Friday, but this morning he drove alone to Logan and is now four hours into the six hour flight to San Francisco.


I keep refreshing the little flight tracker website. Where is he now? Is he here? Is he here? Can I go to the airport and pick him up yet? :-) I'm so excited to see him. I feel just like a little puppy waiting next to the front door, wagging my tail excitedly in anticipation of C coming home :-)

I always am excited to see C after we've been apart a few days, but the last two days have been so marriage-centric that I am missing him more. I love romance. I love seeing people in relationships. It's so much fun to see my lifelong friend B laughing and dancing with his bride-to-be, D.

But seeing all this, and having all these conversations about marriage and weddings and honeymoons and making a life together have just made me miss C more and more and more. I can't wait to pick him up at the airport in just a few hours. I can't wait to laugh and drink with him and B's friends and family tonight.

I can't wait to slow-dance with him. :-)

I was working out in the gym at the hotel this morning and an oddball song I bought on iTunes recently came on. It's a cover of a Brittney Spears song, so I've always regarded it as a bit silly. But I got it because it's covered by a guy (somehow I can always emote more to a song sung by a guy--go figure) and it's performed more as a downtempo ballad than a bubblegum pop hit.

This morning I started grooving to the song for the first time and thinking about being reunited with C today. I almost cried. The song reminds me of the wonderful, mysterious, indescribable spirituality of loving another person.


If I said my heart was beating loud, if we could escape the crowd somehow, if I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me? You feel like paradise...