Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Illinois: the Land of Abs

For many years, Illinois has been proud of its state motto "Illinois: the Land of Lincoln." No more. Due to the recent election of two remarkably attractive statesmen from Illinois, our motto will soon be changing to "Illinois: the Land of Abs."

Why you ask?

You've probably already seen Exhibit #1, a photo of our former U.S. Senator and current President during his recent holiday vacation in Hawaii. I saw it splashed across the cover of a supermarket tabloid beneath the headline "Obama's Pec-tacular Vacation". In case you haven't seen the shot, here goes:

Wowzers. When was the last time the U.S. had a president that looked so good shirtless?

But Obama's not the only hottie statesman from Illinois. Last November, my own congressional district here in Peoria elected Aaron Schock to the U.S. House of Representatives. Schock has already received the dubious of honor of being named the hottest congressional freshman by Huffington Post readers. But it's easy to see why--the kid is a major cutie. That's nothing new. However, pec-tacular photos of Schock at a Peoria pool party and on a recent Caribbean vacation have recently surfaced on the interwebs. I give you Exhibits #2 and 3:

Jeepers! I like how Joe.My.God. puts it: "This is a Republican congressman?"

Exhibit #4 is, of course, yours truly. Be on the lookout for my own chiseled photo which will be appearing on the covers of the next editions of the supermarket tabloids. LOL.

So there you have it: Illinois--the Land of Abs. And now back to your regularly scheduled lives.


Newscrazy said...

I told you he's a dreamboat. I'm in love. I want to be his secret gay lover. SECRET LOOOOOVERS--THAT'S WHAT WE ARE!

If Aaron Schock is reading--I swear I will keep your secret FOR EV ER! Seriously!SE CRET!

Pomoprophet said...

If that doesn't make you want to do your civic duty and attend the normally drab townhall meetings!

Then there are those of us who faithfully take part in our duties as citizens regardless of how old or ugly are congressmen are ;)

Anonymous said...

What is this man's position on gay marriage and civil unions?