Monday, February 11, 2008

He That Pisseth Against the Wall

You're not going to believe this exegesis by Steven L. Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona. Pastor Anderson expounds on masculinity in the Bible based on the phrase "him that pisseth against the wall" that appears six times in the King James Version of the Old Testament, including the following passage.
Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall [1 Kings 14:10]
Before you watch the video of Pastor Anderson's sermon, here is some information from the church's website that may help you understand the context of his message.
Don't expect anything contemporary or liberal. We are an old-fashioned, independent, fundamental, King James Bible only, separated Baptist church and not ashamed to say so.

We believe that the King James Bible is the word of God without error.




Excerpt
400 years ago, pastors used to stand up and preach that a man needs to be a man! Not a "male." Not "the males." It's because the editors of the NIV pee sitting down. It's because the editors of the New King James all pee sitting down. I'm gonna tell you one thing: I'm not gonna pee sitting down. (emphasis his)
The essays page from the church's website includes links to some interesting articles by the pastor, including
and, of course, an essay on gay people
which contains the following gems.
According to the Bible, every one of is us born with a sin nature; we have a natural tendency to sin. However, a normal man is not even tempted with homosexuality at all. The thought of homosexuality to a normal man is disgusting and repulsive.

God is showing us what the queers are about. They desire to pervert others through rape and molestation.

A common misconception is that homosexuals are only attracted to and only prey on men. It is clearly seen in the Bible that homosexuals are perverted in other ways and are always bisexual.
It should be pointed out that Pastor Anderson, in keeping with the doctrines outlined above, never attended college.

Hat tips: my fiancé, Liquidrider

8 comments:

seithman said...

As a random, barely-related tangent, some urologists state that sitting to pee actually promotes prostate health. So is prostate health anti-Biblical now? ;)

Seriously, this guy sounds pretty extreme.

-- Jarred.

Pomoprophet said...

are u suprised by how many nutty people are out there? I'm not. His wifes blog supports Ron Paul. He's never been to college and its obvious. I dont even worry about people like that because its a waste of time.

Charity said...

Intriguing family. I took some time to visit the wifes website and I have to say although I disagree with much of her religious view, I completely respected her child rearing practices. She had the children eating vegetables at age 2 and staying calm in church at age 1...amazing. She even used cloth diapers in order to reduce pollution!

Ryan said...

Hi Joe Moderate! It has been a while between reading and posting here. School is a killer this term. Wow, how sad and ignorant. No wonder so many people (and particularly gay people) dislike Christians/ity.

D.J. Free! said...

hahahahahahaha! oh man. you couldn't get sketch comedy like that on SNL!! brilliant!!

oh wait, he wasn't joking???

Marcus Fergusson said...

Mark Twain had the right idea about all of this nonsense...

http://lavatoryreader.typepad.com/the-lavatory-reader/2009/10/public-urination-in-the-bible-pissing-against-the-wall.html

Dan said...

i pity the poor man who is unable to use his legs to stand - nevermind pee AND stand at the same time.
Wait...he wouldn't be a man then, would he? He'd be a "male".
I can proudly say - I piss against walls...I pee standing up...I am a REAL MAN!

sheol said...

I do feel sorry for Yeshua ben Yusuf - there he was, wandering about Israel, being preaching, and being God and all that, and yet had to rely on fallible and flawed scripture.

And why?

Because the Good Lord made the mistake of being born 1600ish years before the KJV was written and the inerrant form of scripture was finally set down!

.